break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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