did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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