:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
