no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize