I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
