you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
