i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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