I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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