Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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