You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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