That's intense
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
