I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder