OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....