this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo