And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And then my night got REAL pukey
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.