You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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