so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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