OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize