Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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