I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
operation have a gay friend backfired
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
