it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
