Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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