Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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