On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'd cum for enchiladas.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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