I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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