forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
