This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
