just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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