Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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