"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
