Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
