I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
