either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The air was thick with penises
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
