were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
