Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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