So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In other news, I just burned my penis
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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