I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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