I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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