My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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