ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
