bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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