id be glad to
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
