he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
