Pants 0. Shit 1.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
