don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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