Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think my moral compass just broke
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize