Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
