I'm so fucking centered right now
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
