The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
