did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
