Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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