: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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