I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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