my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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