He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
