Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize