3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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