i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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