what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
