I need help removing her.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Everything about him screamed your future.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
