Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
