I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
how does that bad decision feel?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
